Breaking Promises and Commitments

Navigating the Fallout with Care

Promises get broken. Commitments go unfulfilled. This is an unavoidable part of life and relationships. No matter how well-intentioned we are, things happen—circumstances change, priorities shift, emotions fluctuate. While we need to allow room for this reality, we also need to acknowledge that breaking a promise or failing to meet a commitment has an impact. It affects the person on the receiving end, particularly when the promise was important to them.

The Reality of Breaking a Commitment

When you break a promise, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean you’re untrustworthy for life. But it does mean that someone is going to feel hurt, disappointed, or even betrayed. That’s not something to dismiss or deflect—it’s something to acknowledge, tolerate, and tend to. It is not fair or reasonable to expect someone to simply move on without any emotional reaction.

However, there is a line between a natural, valid emotional response and a reaction that becomes abusive or out of proportion. If your partner reacts to a broken promise with name-calling, screaming, or relentless punishment, that is not acceptable. Feeling upset and expressing disappointment is not the same as verbal or emotional abuse. Boundaries must exist in both directions: while the person breaking the commitment must take responsibility, the person affected must also handle their response in a way that respects both parties.